Toke Makinwa’s book- On Becoming has undoubtedly topped the Nigerian Bestseller Chart if we have any like that. A book upon days of its release was pirated and distributed worldwide.
Toke is one media personality who has been shrouded with a lot of controversies; her skin color, her marriage, and even her Vlog. On first thought, you would think her memoir was to uncloud the mystery Toke Makinwa.
Toke in her book has chapters that addressed significant moments in her life; growing up, loss of her parents, her rebellious age, finding herself again, falling in love, marriage, and healing from the sham of her marriage. Because of the high number of people who want to read her book or pass judgments from other people’s opinion, I will not discuss this book in details but give my general opinion on it.
Her style of writing was generic which made it very easy to read and engaging enough that once you pick it up you would not be able to drop the book until you get to the last word. The chapter that described the loss of her parents was a heartbreaking one. A child has a threshold of pain he or she can handle and losing one’s parents is such tragedy is beyond the threshold.
Toke told us her life story how she survived such tragedy and became better. How she got lost and then found herself again and majorly how she found a defining love which ended up destroying her.
Toke showed how vulnerable and insecure she was in love and in my honest opinion she told of Maje without bias or judgment. When she found her freedom she told of her journey to self-love and acceptance and how she found healing. And yes God was involved.
Toke is one of many women living this story it is amazing that she found the strength to tell her story. It is her truth I do not feel we have the right to judge or decide what is right or wrong or even call Maje a demon. If we are honest with ourselves, many people have lived or currently living in Toke’s hell. It is up to you to find that leverage and find yourself and become a better person.
Even though Toke in her book spelled out certain lessons she felt are to be learned from her experience I felt the lessons should be relative and personal. What Mr. A may learn from the book may be different from what Miss B will be but then also she has learned from her experience and shared it with us. There are many truths in Toke’s story. The truth about everyone having their own pain behind their masks, the truth about every lady striving to become financially free. If Toke did not have her money she would have found it a horrendous task starting over and I feel also that the fear of starting over is what makes people get stuck in horrible relationships; male and female alike. There is also the truth on how self-love and self-worth is very important for self-redemption, the truth on how celebrities are just human and most importantly to me on how life is too short to let your happiness to be dictated by another.
I enjoyed reading this book, it was like I was in a chair lounging with Toke while she gisted me. I do feel however that there are a lot of disjointed parts to the story or should I say some parts where I have more questions for me to understand many decision made. I also feel the book did not quite satisfy me. I read On becoming because I not only wanted to read her side of the story but also on how the brand TOKE MAKINWA came to be but alas I was left in the dark. I wish she had dwelt a little on that or given us a background to her career.
I also loved how empty chapter 10 was. It was like Toke was trying to make a statement that the other woman did not matter or did not worth her ink. Hahaha.
Many people feel Toke gives bad advice on her Vlog and I feel every advice is relative it can be interpreted in different ways and biko we all have that willpower to choose between right and wrong no matter how blurry the lines maybe. If you want to read the book do so but read it with an open mind and forget your personal disdain or admiration for the writer.
On becoming is a very educative and enlightening book and it should be read by all especially people struggling in their relationships looking for that strength to start over. It should be read by young girls coming of age and couples. Learn from people’s mistakes so that who know you may avoid that same path yourself.
I guess Toke felt it was time to be open about her issues with Maje. It was time to tell her story, her truth and we shouldn’t judge her for that or cast stones at her or Maje . Learn what you can, gist about it with your friends but do not sit in your house and say which is a lie or which is the truth. It is not your marriage. I do hope to hear from Maje soon or perhaps the other woman.
Sorry if you were expecting me to say do you know that Toke did this or Maje said that. Go and buy the book and read and do not support piracy.